Comments on: Walks into a Bar Jokes http://laurenandlloyd.com/2009/01/31/walks-into-a-bar-jokes/ where our wasted time becomes your wasted time Fri, 10 Feb 2012 22:19:31 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: critch http://laurenandlloyd.com/2009/01/31/walks-into-a-bar-jokes/#comment-277902 critch Sun, 29 Jan 2012 02:38:59 +0000 http://lloydandlauren.com/2009/01/31/walks-into-a-bar-jokes/#comment-277902 Rene Descartes was sitting at a bar. The bartender came over and asked if he would like another drink. He replied, "I think not." And he vanished. Rene Descartes was sitting at a bar. The bartender came over and asked if he would like another drink. He replied, “I think not.” And he vanished.

]]> By: Deanne http://laurenandlloyd.com/2009/01/31/walks-into-a-bar-jokes/#comment-81673 Deanne Tue, 16 Mar 2010 18:48:33 +0000 http://lloydandlauren.com/2009/01/31/walks-into-a-bar-jokes/#comment-81673 What about Brad's string joke? A string walks into a bar several times and asks for a drink. Each time, he is turned down by the bartender. Finally, the string asks a stranger to tie him into a knot and frazzle the ends a little. The string walks back to the bar, and the bartender asks him, "Hey, aren't you the same string I just turned down?" The string replies, "I'm a frayed knot." That's my favorite... and the memories of talent shows long past! What about Brad’s string joke?

A string walks into a bar several times and asks for a drink. Each time, he is turned down by the bartender. Finally, the string asks a stranger to tie him into a knot and frazzle the ends a little. The string walks back to the bar, and the bartender asks him, “Hey, aren’t you the same string I just turned down?” The string replies, “I’m a frayed knot.”

That’s my favorite… and the memories of talent shows long past!

]]> By: Lloyd http://laurenandlloyd.com/2009/01/31/walks-into-a-bar-jokes/#comment-81670 Lloyd Tue, 16 Mar 2010 17:36:56 +0000 http://lloydandlauren.com/2009/01/31/walks-into-a-bar-jokes/#comment-81670 A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender says, "You're quite a celebrity around here. We've even got a drink named after you." The grasshopper says, "You've got a drink named Steve?" A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender says, “You’re quite a celebrity around here. We’ve even got a drink named after you.” The grasshopper says, “You’ve got a drink named Steve?”

]]> By: Chet http://laurenandlloyd.com/2009/01/31/walks-into-a-bar-jokes/#comment-79968 Chet Thu, 28 Jan 2010 15:59:27 +0000 http://lloydandlauren.com/2009/01/31/walks-into-a-bar-jokes/#comment-79968 A seal walks into a bar. The bartender says: What'll it be pal? And the seal says: 'Anything but a Canadian Club.' A seal walks into a bar. The bartender says: What’ll it be pal? And the seal says: ‘Anything but a Canadian Club.’

]]> By: Blabby http://laurenandlloyd.com/2009/01/31/walks-into-a-bar-jokes/#comment-76956 Blabby Thu, 29 Oct 2009 07:00:44 +0000 http://lloydandlauren.com/2009/01/31/walks-into-a-bar-jokes/#comment-76956 No bar jokes, but I've got one for the 4 year olds. Our favorite knock knock joke: Knock Knock. Who's there? Smell Mop. Smell Mop Who? You have to say it out loud to get it. The louder the funnier! No bar jokes, but I’ve got one for the 4 year olds. Our favorite knock knock joke:

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Smell Mop.
Smell Mop Who?

You have to say it out loud to get it. The louder the funnier!

]]> By: Scott http://laurenandlloyd.com/2009/01/31/walks-into-a-bar-jokes/#comment-72841 Scott Wed, 17 Jun 2009 12:09:59 +0000 http://lloydandlauren.com/2009/01/31/walks-into-a-bar-jokes/#comment-72841 A seal walks into a club A seal walks into a club

]]> By: Lauren http://laurenandlloyd.com/2009/01/31/walks-into-a-bar-jokes/#comment-60217 Lauren Sun, 22 Mar 2009 03:17:09 +0000 http://lloydandlauren.com/2009/01/31/walks-into-a-bar-jokes/#comment-60217 Ha! More jokes! More jokes! Ha! More jokes! More jokes!

]]> By: andy http://laurenandlloyd.com/2009/01/31/walks-into-a-bar-jokes/#comment-46260 andy Thu, 12 Feb 2009 21:32:57 +0000 http://lloydandlauren.com/2009/01/31/walks-into-a-bar-jokes/#comment-46260 A Shetland pony walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what'll it be Mac." The pony says, "Make it something soothing - I'm a little hoarse." A Shetland pony walks into a bar. The bar tender says “what’ll it be Mac.” The pony says, “Make it something soothing -- I’m a little hoarse.”

]]> By: christina http://laurenandlloyd.com/2009/01/31/walks-into-a-bar-jokes/#comment-45518 christina Mon, 02 Feb 2009 05:33:42 +0000 http://lloydandlauren.com/2009/01/31/walks-into-a-bar-jokes/#comment-45518 A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender how they prepare their chicken. The bartender thought a minute, then answered, "Usually, we just tell them they're going to die." A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender how they prepare their chicken. The bartender thought a minute, then answered, “Usually, we just tell them they’re going to die.”

]]> By: Beth http://laurenandlloyd.com/2009/01/31/walks-into-a-bar-jokes/#comment-45513 Beth Mon, 02 Feb 2009 03:12:52 +0000 http://lloydandlauren.com/2009/01/31/walks-into-a-bar-jokes/#comment-45513 WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! "We are the champions, my friends!!" (Whew! That was close.) WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

“We are the champions, my friends!!”

(Whew! That was close.)

]]> By: Beth http://laurenandlloyd.com/2009/01/31/walks-into-a-bar-jokes/#comment-45512 Beth Mon, 02 Feb 2009 03:03:46 +0000 http://lloydandlauren.com/2009/01/31/walks-into-a-bar-jokes/#comment-45512 Um. Yes. Well, it was Harold who was horribly ill...but that made for a LOOOOOOOOOOOONG weekend. The Superbowl is currently being watched. Beth in real time. Harold on DVR. Here's hoping the Cards can't drive the length of the field in 0:35. Because we could use a little joy around here. Barfing husbands are far worse than barfing kids. I'm just saying. Um. Yes. Well, it was Harold who was horribly ill…but that made for a LOOOOOOOOOOOONG weekend. The Superbowl is currently being watched. Beth in real time. Harold on DVR. Here’s hoping the Cards can’t drive the length of the field in 0:35.

Because we could use a little joy around here.

Barfing husbands are far worse than barfing kids.

I’m just saying.

]]> By: Lauren http://laurenandlloyd.com/2009/01/31/walks-into-a-bar-jokes/#comment-45507 Lauren Mon, 02 Feb 2009 01:44:49 +0000 http://lloydandlauren.com/2009/01/31/walks-into-a-bar-jokes/#comment-45507 It is my understanding that the Pesters have had a weekend of hellacious illness at their home. We can only hope that Harold is strong enough to watch the Superbowl. It is my understanding that the Pesters have had a weekend of hellacious illness at their home. We can only hope that Harold is strong enough to watch the Superbowl.

]]> By: Peggy http://laurenandlloyd.com/2009/01/31/walks-into-a-bar-jokes/#comment-45504 Peggy Mon, 02 Feb 2009 00:08:18 +0000 http://lloydandlauren.com/2009/01/31/walks-into-a-bar-jokes/#comment-45504 BTW: Where are you Beth? Did you fly to Tampa this weekend? BTW: Where are you Beth? Did you fly to Tampa this weekend?

]]> By: Peggy http://laurenandlloyd.com/2009/01/31/walks-into-a-bar-jokes/#comment-45485 Peggy Sun, 01 Feb 2009 17:04:08 +0000 http://lloydandlauren.com/2009/01/31/walks-into-a-bar-jokes/#comment-45485 A mushroom walks into a bar & the bartender says "You can't come in...we don't accept your kind here." The mushroom said, "Why not, I'm a fungi." (I predict some will get it within 2 seconds, some later in the day, some never.) And I have to admit, it took me a while to get #6--HA! Know I love that one! A mushroom walks into a bar & the bartender says “You can’t come in…we don’t accept your kind here.” The mushroom said, “Why not, I’m a fungi.”

(I predict some will get it within 2 seconds, some later in the day, some never.)

And I have to admit, it took me a while to get #6--HA! Know I love that one!

]]> By: Peggy http://laurenandlloyd.com/2009/01/31/walks-into-a-bar-jokes/#comment-45484 Peggy Sun, 01 Feb 2009 16:59:52 +0000 http://lloydandlauren.com/2009/01/31/walks-into-a-bar-jokes/#comment-45484 HA!! I love that!! I laughed out loud. (Come in...HA!) HA!! I love that!! I laughed out loud. (Come in…HA!)

]]> By: Lauren http://laurenandlloyd.com/2009/01/31/walks-into-a-bar-jokes/#comment-45474 Lauren Sun, 01 Feb 2009 13:21:51 +0000 http://lloydandlauren.com/2009/01/31/walks-into-a-bar-jokes/#comment-45474 I only know knock-knock jokes, as told by unfunny four-year-olds. A sample: Knock knock. <i>silence from other child</i> Knock knock. <i>Come in.</i> You say "Who's there?" <i>Who's there?</i> A monkey. <i>Hello.</i> (Gales of laughter on the jokester's part, a confused smile on the answerer's part. Repeat all dnag day.) I only know knock-knock jokes, as told by unfunny four-year-olds. A sample:

Knock knock.
silence from other child
Knock knock.
Come in.
You say “Who’s there?”
Who’s there?
A monkey.
Hello.
(Gales of laughter on the jokester’s part, a confused smile on the answerer’s part. Repeat all dnag day.)

]]> By: Brad http://laurenandlloyd.com/2009/01/31/walks-into-a-bar-jokes/#comment-45471 Brad Sun, 01 Feb 2009 11:37:33 +0000 http://lloydandlauren.com/2009/01/31/walks-into-a-bar-jokes/#comment-45471 You took all mine, so I had to cheat and go hunting. I liked these: A man walked into a bar holding an alligator. He asked the bartender, "Do you serve lawyers here?" The bartender said, "Yes, we do!" "Good," replied the man. "Give me a beer, and I'll have a lawyer for my alligator." A guy walks into a bar. He says to the bartender, "Can I have a bag of helicopter flavor chips?" The barkeep says, "Sorry, we only have plain." You took all mine, so I had to cheat and go hunting. I liked these:

A man walked into a bar holding an alligator. He asked the bartender, “Do you serve lawyers here?” The bartender said, “Yes, we do!” “Good,” replied the man. “Give me a beer, and I’ll have a lawyer for my alligator.”

A guy walks into a bar. He says to the bartender, “Can I have a bag of helicopter flavor chips?” The barkeep says, “Sorry, we only have plain.”

]]> By: Karla/Arron http://laurenandlloyd.com/2009/01/31/walks-into-a-bar-jokes/#comment-45460 Karla/Arron Sun, 01 Feb 2009 06:41:23 +0000 http://lloydandlauren.com/2009/01/31/walks-into-a-bar-jokes/#comment-45460 A dyslexic man walks into a bra.... A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw." A dyslexic man walks into a bra….

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”

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