Pffft – a story like that is an old wive’s tale until it’s been tested.

Hey, wait – I’m an old wife!

Test away!

Verdict? It works! Wrapped up & watertight. It doesn’t even rip the hair off your arm, which I worried mightily about once I wrapped my wrist. (Whew.)

I was so excited!!!! A tiny little room that would meet all my tiny-house expectations! I poured over internet videos and the Amtrak site during the whole week, endlessly imagining what the ride would be like.

So, with that said, here are photos, because these are the things I wanted to know before I got on the train.

Yes, there will be room in the ‘closet’ for your 2-liter bottle of pop. Our second train had a different closet set-up, though.

Yes, there is only one power socket. Bring an adapter if you have other things to plug in.

The room is small. Smaller than you think it is after you’ve looked at it on the website. Sitting up is very comfortable, though.

When Lloyd has a cold, he will sleep a lot.

This is idea that I’m quite proud of: If you are travelling in winter, bring along a pillowcase for each coat. You won’t have to find a place to store your coat – you can stuff the coat inside and use it as an extra pillow!

There is room all the way under the seat to store your stuff.

There is a coffee and juice station at the end of the rooms. Yay for free drinks!

So: ‘Yes’ to train travel! ‘Yes’ to the sleeper car!

Since I planned this trip last-minute, plane ticket prices were prohibitive, so Lloyd and I took the train out – and it was AWESOME!!! I will leave the details of the train ride for tomorrow’s post, but prayers for my folks would be welcome and appreciated.

Thanks, guys!

Last Friday my student teacher helped the preschoolers make Freezer Bag Ice Cream – the stuff where you combine milk, sugar and a flavoring in a zip-loc bag, then put that bag in a bigger bag with ice and sugar and shake away. The kids loved it, and I was a little sad I didn’t make some myself.

So, what are you favorite ice cream combinations? Myself, I like a mini Heath Blizzard, or good vanilla ice cream with a drizzle of chocolate syrup, or a scoop of rainbow sherbet.

Mmmmmmmm……. now I want ice cream……

At work, the main deodorizing spray is cinnamon-scented, and while it does a fairly good job, I am beginning to associate the smell of cinnamon with poop. I’d like to try the Citrus Magic, but it’s a little pricey. Instead of taking my whole precious supply to school, I’m going to sneak some in and see if this product can take on six toddlers who are toilet-training.

I’ve had this perfume atomizer for years, and have no idea where it came from. I’ve never had a chance to use it, but now this thing finally has a noble purpose. Go, Citrus Magic!

To pass the time, I took a picture of my armrest, because nothing else had happened during the day that was post-worthy, and there wasn’t a lot of daylight left.

The contents:
$3 – which I had just spent on my dinner, not having enough cash on me.
Spare change
Chapstick (remember to remove before summer heat hits)
A collection of pens/pencils
Candles and matches for when I am stuck on the side of the road, or if I want some nice ambiance while driving.
A useless pair of sunglasses
A fork
Scissors
Sunscreen
Keychain bottle opener and screwdriver.

Huh, looking over that list, I think I’m prepared for a fancy dinner on the beach.

Lloyd and I are in the beginning stages. We filled out our health questionnaire, which is worth some money, and then he went to the ‘healthy eating’ part of the website and said that he would eat five servings of fruits and vegetables…. a day.

Lauren: “A day?!? Not a week?”
Lloyd: “Yes. That is totally do-able for me. Our school lunches are spectacular.”
Lauren: “Hmmmm…my bath soap says something about cucumber in it, so I guess I’m good, too.”
Lloyd: “That’s not what they mean.”
Lauren: “And my chapstick is strawberry! Don’t topical applications count?”

So, I am going to venture out and try some new veggies, because my standard fallback is canned green beans – the only vegetable I actually like. We eat a lot of green beans around here.

I decided that if we sampled one new veggie a week, that would be a healthy option, and also a guaranteed post! Up this week: Brussel sprouts, the tiny little cabbages that make you feel like a giant.

I roasted some up (not a bunch, because this was an experiment) and glazed them with a balsamic reduction and added a few dried cranberries a’la Pioneer Woman, and I have to say – they were not disgusting. They did stink up the house, though, but not as bad as the rotten garbage. (They also did not stink us up, since I bought some Beano to take ahead of time. I’m a planner.)

He signed it with love, using a gold paint pen.

Story Two: After the Great Mystery Stench of February 11th, Beth stopped by and brought an unused garbage can that perfectly fits in the slider-mechanism-thingie in the cupboard.

Hmmmmmmmm…….

I contemplated the gold paint pen, because as we all know, gold paint makes everything better.

Hmmmmmm……..

And then I did this….

Swirly gold! I think my countertops are in danger….

Ah, this is such an exciting time for the young children – the candy, the cards, the candy, the cookies, the candy. Ahhh. Good times.

It takes me back to fourth grade, when our teacher decided to veer from the normal routine of having each child make their own individual box or bag. No, this year we were going to make a gigantic Valentine mailbox! Looking back on it, I’m not sure how that worked. Did we each just bring one valentine? Did we all dump our 20+ Valentines in there, stir them around, and just pass out handfuls randomly? I don’t know, because the memory is completely overshadowed by the fact that I went over to help decorate the box….. and I wasn’t part of the decorating group.

What?

What??

Whaaaa?

All the ‘cool’ kids were gathered around that giant box, laughing and cutting and gluing and having a grand old time, and when I tried to help I was met with a cold, “No, Lauren. We are doing this.”

Whaaaa?

….. but…. I like gluing….

(I should go under hypnosis to see how that whole scene really played out. I bet I was a real pill in fourth grade.)

Lo and behold – it’s not just because the t.v. might be made of lead, it housed a tiny kitchen inside!

Lloyd had already strongly hinted that I should actually go to the debate, so I did. I sat waaaaay in the back, though, and kept my head down so no one would recognize by the look in my eyes that I was an outsider. “She doesn’t understand politics! She doesn’t belong here!! Let’s try and persuade her with our arguments to be one of us!”

I was actually glad I went. I took notes on my iPod to follow what the candidates were saying (and also to stay awake) and it turns out that I do have a favorite. Deb Fischer gets my vote, and not just because she was nice to me the last time I saw her.

After the debate, Lloyd stayed for a RLC meeting and I went shopping. See? We both got what we wanted.

On the way home we decided to stop at the Kearney over-the-interstate museum. (I’m sure it has a regular name, but that’s how I always think of it.) We arrived at 2:54 and they stopped selling tickets at 3, and we were the only visitors. The entire staff was very friendly and said, “Take your time! Stay as long as you like!” but I could feel their “Dang it, we were going to get to go home early but these morons showed up” vibe.

We rushed through. It’s 10 bucks apiece, and I don’t need to go again, but I’m glad we stopped. You put on headphones and walk around as people (from the pioneer days through the 1950′s) talk in your ears about their journeys across America.

Kearney was a hotspot for all the big trails – Oregon, Mormon, the trans-continental railroad, the Lincoln highway, and I-80 – the first interstate to be built. As you walked from era to era the narration, lighting, and ambient noise changed, along with the life-size dioramas with their creepily realistic mannequins.

Just like a man – oblivious to a woman doing all the work.

Before we left on Friday, I thought something smelled funny and thought it must be the dishwasher. It wasn’t anywhere near full, but I threw detergent in there, started ‘er up, and we got out of Dodge.

When we came home Saturday afternoon, it smelled like a sick shark had thrown up in here.

I

Was

Livid!!!

I yanked open the dishwasher and yeah, it smelled vaguely gross still. But then I opened the door to the garbage cupboard and literally almost threw up. It was so nasty!! I don’t even know what caused it, but I yanked out the whole garbage can contraption and all the shelves and was yelling and mildly cursing while Lloyd just stood there in fear and wondered best how to approach the situation without getting knifed.

I started spraying the inside of the cupboard with enzyme cleaner and then washing with bleachy cleaner and then I threw out the garbage can. (Each time we have a smelly episode I scrub the can out with bleach but the smells seem to do cumulative odor damage.) I’m done with it. Heck, I threw out the blender that lived in that cupboard because it smells funny. After the scrubbing I lit a candle and it will live in there until it burns down the house. Smoke smell would be an improvement.

After that I went on a rampage in the kitchen about how those stupid white counters are always, always stained, then I scrubbed and bleached the bejeebees out of them, too.

Then I fumed about how the garbage disposal is never going to get fixed and it’s all gross in there, so I Soft-Scrubbed down inside the disposal.

Lloyd started to sit down at his computer during my rant and I said – very calmly – dangerously calmly – “I am going to need your help for five minutes to clean this downstairs area before I blow a gasket.” Bless his heart, he did.

Some other stuff happened – I found a bag of sprouted potatoes downstairs and accidentally broke a glass candleholder – so then there was anger sweeping in the basement. Grrrr. Then I was on a good old tear so I started the laundry and Soft Scrubbed the bathtub. Grrrr.

(Deep breath) I feel better now. And the house is cleaner, so there’s that. What am I going to do about my garbage can situation, though? I don’t know if I’m going to get the same thing or not.

What are you going to do today?

Around that time I also cleaned my glasses, and looking in the mirror I could suddenly see that the skin around my eyes was turning into crepe paper! I cursed my newly-discovered wrinkles, and purchased a face lotion that promised to restore my crinkly skin to baby-smoothness. (I only used half-doses, though, because I didn’t want fat baby eyes.)

And then there were my elbows. The ones that had such dry, scaly, weird bumps that they made my dermatologist think I had scabies. (I didn’t, and he was an idiot. Those bumps come back every winter.) I showed them to my regular, non-idiot doctor and he prescribed a cream with steroids to calm my troubled elbows. There there, elbows.

And then….. I tried olive oil.

Yep, the stuff you cook with. I’ve been using it instead of all those lotions for about a month now and I am deeming this experiment a success. Straight out of the shower I pour a little in my hand and slather my legs and elbows, then pat my face with the reside left on my hands. While it hasn’t given me baby eyes – my face doesn’t feel wintery-dry-itchy, my legs aren’t shedding, and my elbows are completely non-scabby!

It soaks in rather quickly and since it’s not the extra-virgin kind, I don’t think I smell like salad dressing, but then again – my nose isn’t the best smeller. Even if I do, I think I’m sticking with it because this stuff is cheeeeeeeeap! Win!

Yeah, it’s really long, right? If you’re wondering what to buy me for Christmas, I think you can still buy these maps. However, please coordinate your efforts, as I would hate to end up with, say, two of them.

Plants, plants, plants, plants
You yearn for spring, but not for ants.

Donuts, donuts, donuts, donuts,
You can’t eat them, hence you go nuts.

Friends, friends, friends, friends,
We’ll write some poems ’til day ends.

Anyway, during the school year I bring it home and mess around with it. Lately I’ve been getting trashed at playing Words With Friends. I’ve only played against Lloyd and my cousin, but I am really, really bad at it. My guess? Everyone else is cheating.

If you have an iPod, iPad or an iPhone, though, you must immediately spend the 99 cents on the Autoharp app. Do you know what an autoharp is? It’s a harp-like instrument from long ago that has these bars that goes across all the strings. Each bar is marked with a button that says its chord. You push the button, strum the strings – instant music chords! It’s easier than playing a ukulele.

Well, the app gives you all the nostalgia and satisfaction of playing an autoharp without the bulk or smell of the 70′s. It is so fun!

Remember: C, F, G, C. Those are the only chords you’ll ever need to know.
(Unless you’d like G, C, D, G. Repeat as needed.)

We got dumped on by a fair amount of snow. The official record says it was 12 inches but it was a heavy, wet snow that packed down. It made for a nice, peaceful weekend, except for not having any television signal due to the satellite dish being covered with snow. Lloyd told his parents about it and his dad was very concerned that we wouldn’t be able to watch the Superbowl. He recommended a big stick to knock it off. While we didn’t care so much about the football game, who doesn’t want to smack at their satellite dish with a big pole? No one, that’s who.

Oh, here’s a piece of winter advice regarding that adorable ‘hat’ of snow on top of your car that you might be too lazy to remove. Lloyd and I went to shovel at my school, and on the way back a little bit of the ‘hat’ slid down over the windshield. We were approaching a stop sign and I said, “Slam on the brakes”, thinking that it would slide off and down the hood.

Um……. It did, but …….

I’ve gone on and on before about how much I like to peel them, but with these oranges I’m using the peel to make roses. It just takes a minute, and it’s very satisfying.

Peel, cut the peel in half (or just rip off one end if you want a giant rose) and start rolling from the cut end to the curly end. It’s like making these paper flowers, but with really delicious-smelling, oddly thick paper that makes your fingers oily.

Just rip,

roll,

and shove a toothpick through it to hold it together. (This rose is way too big.)

I like that as they dry they are kind of curving into more petal-like forms. I’m hoping by the end of this bag of oranges I’ll have a whole bouquet’s worth…… and then what will I do with them?

It could have been full of chewed gum and I still would have been over the moon, because it was so exciting just looking at the golden seal and the label on the back that was a ‘customs declaration’ notice! (Life in Seward is incredibly predictable, so this really was a heart-stoppingly fun moment.)

It was a gorgeously wrapped package, with a mysterious post-it attached. (See above banner.) On the back of the post-it was this charming note:

Oh my gosh, Ribs (of ScarfEnvy), you totally floored me! I can just hear the phrase ‘proper cup of proper tea’ in an English accent and I go all melty. Thank you so much for the surprise and the tea! The only downside to this is that I got home late from work, opened the package (dancing about as Lloyd can attest), then went to go watch ‘Groundhog Day” with the Gebhardts and the Pesters and now I can’t drink any of it until the morning. Drat you, finicky stomach! Oh well – a small price to pay for such a happy occasion.

In the morning I’ll update with the tea brewing. It’ll be late-ish, though, because it’s going to snow and I have a lot of sleeping in to do.

Cheers!

Before Christmas break I told my access class (think homeroom) that we’d have to go outside and play 8-square when the weather got warmer. They did not know what 8-square was, and asked if it was like 4-square. I said only in-so-much-as a blizzard is like an ice-cube. Intrigued –more with the possibility of going outside than in playing 8-square– they have been incessently asking me (a) “What is 8-square and?” (b) “Could they go outside and play it, please?”

As Lauren mentioned, we’ve had some really warm weather lately, so yesterday I took them out. There was much rejoicing. Earlier in the day I had grabbed some seniors (we keep a full supply on hand) who remembered playing 8-square to come out and chalk out a “court”. Traditionally an 8-square court is laid out in a 2×4 grid, but we drew out a 3×3 grid this time. It seemed to work well.

The rules are exceedingly simple:

1. The ball must bounce in your square before you hit it.
2. You must hit* it with your hand(s).
3. You must hit the ball into someone else’s square.

None of the screwy rules you see with 4-square. This is a real man’s game (the girls tend to be as good as the guys). Acceptable exclamations include, “good show”, “bad form”, “nice hit”, “tough one” and “quit your whinin’”. It’s a good game for teaching kids to just take their lumps, because everyone “gets out” all the time.

They are playing with the huge “training ball” right now. Later on I’ll bring out the Tournament Play ball. It’s smaller and bouncier.

*You do have to explain that “hit” is a single momentary contact with the ball. Otherwise you get shoves and holds, which break rule 2 and get you out.