I’ve never used to use lotion on my legs regularly, but we got a giant bottle a while ago from a box of stuff from Lloyd’s uncle and I used it. Turns out it makes your legs less scaly. Who knew?

Anyway, when I was nearing the end of the first bottle, I was mad because the pump stopped working and obviously there was a lot left in there. I tried all the gimmicks to eek out the contents – shaking, wiping the sides with the pump stick, I even contemplated making a tiny spatula – then I just cut it open. I thought I was being quite ingenious, considering I got two more week’s worth of lotion out of there, but apparently people have been doing this for ages. Consumer Reports says that 25 – 33% of mustard, lotion, toothpaste, conditioner, etc. is left behind in the bottle.

Well, not around here, CR. Not around here.

It’s not so bad as long as I keep the door open. And an unforeseen benefit to living in a closet is that there is no phone. I get a little more work done because it is harder for people to get ahold of me.

Which leads me to the point of the thing. A few years ago I put one of those sign plaque thingies on the door and got a few signs to swap out. No one ever knew what was in this closet, so I had a few funny signs made that I would swap out seasonally. Over the years I’ve lost a few of them, and, more to the point, I’ve run out of ideas for new signs.

So I’m fishing for ideas. Obviously, the geekier the better, but I’m not proud. I’ll steal any idea. A former student stopped by few days ago, thought it was funny that they stuffed me in a closet and offered a few of his own:

• The Bat Cave
• Number 12, Grimmauld Place
• The Holodeck

So, there you have it. Help make my closet more homey (funny signs are like geek curtains).

This is the hallway leading to the restrooms in the expensive mall in Omaha (from our trip a few weeks ago). The question you have to ask yourself, punk, is, “Do you feel lucky?”

Anyway, today came the realization that I’ve crossed some sort of line. So long to the pleasant “I actually got to play my ukulele in church and no one threw tomatoes” kind of crazy – welcome “ummmm….maybe we should start collecting the names of nursing homes”.

Exhibit 1: (There have been other instances, but this was the first one shocking enough to document)
I was cutting up one of Lloyd’s tattered undershirts into teeny, tiny 2-inch square (roughly) rags to wipe up the counter and toss in the trash with less eco-guilt than using a paper towel. (I was going to toss the shirt anyway.) No, that’s not the crazy part.

The crazy part is that I wanted a container to keep said squares in, and I looked under the bathroom sink. There was a ceramic canister I had been given years ago – perfect! As I got it out it was strangely heavy. Hmmmmm.

What the what? There’s some watery substance, a bunch of corroded change, and a drinking glass inside. What?!?! Did I do this? When? How? What could I possibly have beeen thinking? Is that water? Is it vinegar in there? Am I stashing money and drinkware at night?

Next comes leaving the oven on all day and locking myself out of the house dressed only in a bathrobe and galoshes holding a flyswatter.

I’ve looked for that faucet attachment every so often. I usually think about it when Brad’s here and he jams his face under the faucet to get a drink.  I knew I didn’t want that stupid orca whale that just snaps on to the faucet – that’s not cool.  I found this Kwik Sip thing, and it came in the mail today.  It has a little pull-switch to turn on the fountain, and then you push it back in to turn it off.   I think it will be alright – at least it will entertain Pfennig when I brush my teeth.  (Maybe it will save Brad’s neck, too.)

Well, it just so happened that one of my stops for the day was the restaurant supply store (which I love).  I had to use the bathroom, and saw this:

Obviously some woman works there, because only a woman knows that other women sometimes need supplies.

Sure enough, it was chock-full of stuff. Extra t.p., cleaning things, Girl Things, tape, lotion, several spray bottle of body spray, a couple of deodorants (*jibblie*), a bottle of detangler, and surprisingly – a brand-new in-the-blister-pack toothbrush.  I could have camped there!  No hairspray, though, so I used air freshener.  Kidding!  (or am I?)

Next up: the truck!

Anyway, I single-handedly installed this vanity top!  Well…. maybe not single-handedly.  Lloyd was the instigator with his ‘just finish the entryway’ remark, and Annette was with me months ago when I  picked out the faucet (on sale, of course), and Brad was there for picking out the sink and being around for technical plumbing advice when I stubbornly insisted on doing it alone, and Beth saved the day when I realized I couldn’t use store-bought countertop – she suggested Dale Grimes, a local countertop-making genius.  So, I’d like to share this Beautiful Bathroom Award with all of them….. I’d like to, but I won’t.  I’m selfish that way.

Ugly, boring ‘before’:

Much, much better ‘after’.

It even works – for real!

Lloyd’s coming home today!  I hope he loves it!

It looks better now, and though it’s not the best work I’ve ever done…. well, let’s face it. I don’t think I’ve ever done my best work. Hasty Regret, that’s my nickname. (It looks fine in the photo. Up close, you can tell it’s like one of those ‘flip-this-house’ jobs.

Now, on to the next thing….(then I think I’m done painting for the next year or so.)

The last big event of the weekend went off without a hitch. Lloyd (and Curt and Mrs. Royuk, might I add) sang wonderfully and he looked great in all the pieces of his tux.

The only complaint I have with the beautiful church is that there aren’t enough toilets in the women’s restroom to handle all the intermission traffic. Afterwards Lloyd told me that he knew where there was a secret toilet – just off the nursery.

Yeah, we’ll pass. (Lloyd’s mom is there for scale.)

The sticks (diamond willow, by the way) have been hanging there since the beginning of the school year to make it more ‘natural’ feeling. The border on the wall has bears and deer, which the boys love. I’ve thought about hanging some interesting animal pictures on the walls in the stalls, but they really don’t need anything else to distract them from their aim. (Just being awake seems to be distraction enough.)

I need this. I need this like I need air. It speaks to my soul on every level – gadgety-ness, tree-hugger-ness, and weirdness. Please Santa.

It’s a TOILET LID (sold seperately) that puts the water in the sink before it goes in the tank! You flush, you wash.  (It’s clean water, people, so calm down.) I think we should install these in the Center. Those little boys would flush every single time and have super-clean hands.

Now just a minute ago, as I was writing this, I wondered whatever happened to that roll? Sure enough it was still in the tub, and it was only a little bit moldy. Yes, just a little bit.

Darn elves.  I’m going to have to start leaving traps out. Lloyd and I came home from Lincoln tonight to find that a certain ‘bathroom elf’ had left some pretty towels for the bathroom.  Well, I had planned a perfectly good evening of sitting around and watching important television shows, but no – I had to do something to justify a new post.

May I present – the Holiday Bathroom, inspired by Sneaky Lady

Yes, there’s a tree in my bathroom.  Funny story.  I put up our old tree in the living room a couple of days ago, and several times since have thought, “I really should buy a skinnier tree that fits in that room better.”  This evening when I was looking for other stuff in the basement, lo and behold – I found a box with the skinny tree I bought last year.  It’s fun being absent-minded.

 A tiny view of the window.  I don’t know what I’m doing with the camera.

Whoa!  Shiny!

Yeah, it’s brown!  A rich, deep brown called Bavarian Oak, appropriate since after seeing my mother’s family tree I found that many of my ancestors are from Bavaria.  We Bavarians aren’t afraid of color.  (And make all your color-of-poop jokes now – there’s not a one I can’t handle.)

Here’s a different view that’s not so shiny.  In other news, I mowed up all the leaves in the yard.  Lloyd is still stuck at work putting all that junk away.

******** Warning:  This post is disgusting. **************

 

 

********No, really - I use gross words and have a horrible picture! **********

 

 

****** Ok, Sicko.  Read on. ***************

 

I have some serious texture issues.  At work, I don’t have much of a problem dealing with most fluids that come out of children (pee, vomit, poop, blood), but not *shudder* – snot.  Snot is so, so much grosser.   The sliminess of mucus just about makes me hurl. 

Anyway, I know you’ve been wondering about the bathroom progress, well this is what’s been holding it up:

 

       The snot-like texture of wallpaper glue!!!! You have to get all the glue off the wall or when you paint, the roller will skid like it’s on an ice rink.  (I learned that the hard way in the upstairs bathroom when I didn’t get the glue off.)  So I’ve been scraping the *shudder* mucus glue with my scraper, then *shudder* wiping the blade with a paper towel.   *shudder shudder*  This is why I can only work a few minutes at a time. 

However, it’s paying off.  Here’s a picture of some progress: