I tried to wear my old good coat a few months ago, and it had not gone well. Popular consensus was, “You can’t wear that anymore.” It was a shame, because I really liked my old good coat. But it had evidently shrunk over time.

I don’t remember exactly when I got my old good coat. It was either my senior year in high school or early in my illustrious college career. I told my mom that I needed a good coat and that I would take really good care of it, and that it would last a long time. She said that if I would pay for half of it, she would pay for the other half.

I remember the store where we bought it. It was a clothing store that I don’t think I was ever in before in downtown Jefferson City. I’m pretty sure that it cost just slightly under $200.00. It lasted over 20 years. Well played coat. Well played.

Lauren told me that January was a good time to buy coats, so we went to the usual stores: Penney’s, Dillard’s, Men’s Wearhouse and Yonker’s. Did you know that you can pay $895 for a coat? I didn’t. In fact, my new good coat also cost just under $200.00. It was 65% off, and this time I didn’t even have to pay half.

So, without further ado, I give you this: The more belt-loops it has, the better the pants.

Currently in my closet there are pants with 4, 5, 6 and 7 belt loops. Arrange them numerically by loops and you have arranged them by quality.

I would like to think that one day I will own a pair of 8 loop pants, and I shiver to imagine the poor wretch who’s belt is supported by 3. So, while I would not recommend judging a man by his pants, feel confident in judging a man’s pants by their loops.

*though not particularly interesting, it does contain two easter eggs.

This one was the saddest. Todd Peperkorn took this picture of me, my shirt and Lauren while we were tooling around Germany. I’m just glad to have the picture to remember it by.

We packaged them up along with some of Lauren’s clothing (so they wouldn’t be lonely) and delivered them to Goodwill after Brighton Kollipara’s 7th birthday party.

When it was my turn to be a teacher, I decided to do the same. I first poked around to make sure that green wasn’t taken. It wouldn’t be right to horn in on someone else’s ink. If green had not been available, I would have chosen a dark, masculine purple (don’t tell Christina, when we were growing up I had to pretend to hate purple, because it was her favorite color). If purple was also taken, orange was next on my list, because nothing rhymes with it.

I don’t mind walking in the cold, as long as nearly every part of my skin is enclosed in fabric.  I wear tank tops under my shirt to prevent windy-belly-syndrome, pulled-up socks so my ankles don’t get cold, a scarf & hat, and long sleeves sealed up by gloves.  When it was super-cold I wore the big ugly down coat and chopped the feet off some long socks so they could be used as quasi-legwarmers.  (Under my pants, not like a bad 80′s nightmare.)   One day it wasn’t freezing cold so I just wore my regular coat and a sweater with 1/2 sleeves.  My wrists! My wrists were going to feel the wind!  Nooooooo!!!!  Enter the chopped socks.

I think the cat hairs really add something.

No more!

Keren is my sister who lives in Alaska. She is an art professor who works mainly in textiles. I have one of her early pieces, knitted for me when I was still in high school. This won’t make sense to many of you, but allow me this self-indulgent walk through memory lane. When I was young, t.v. was still in its larval stage and only had four channels, one of which was PBS. In my early years I watched Sesame Street (old-school style), Electric Company, and Mister Rogers. In later years, Frugal Gourmet, Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, and Doctor Who!!!! (It’s a British sci-fi show about a Time Lord who has all sorts of well-accented adventures through time and space.) I came in during the Tom Baker years, and later fell in love when he regenerated (‘cuz you can do that when you’re pretend) into Peter Davison. Peter was cute, but Tom had super-style. His signature piece was a 20-foot long scarf, and my loving sister knitted one for me. She’s awesome.

Recently I found out that there is a guy who has a whole website dedicated to Doctor Who’s scarf. I dug mine out of storage and sent him this picture to see if I can join the ranks of Whovian dorks. (Using the most loving form of the word ‘dork’. I’m not on …. yet.) That scarf’s old enough to drink, people.

Thanks, Keren! Happy Birthday!

In other news, Lloyd had his party last night. Middle School Fun Night! I stopped in at the beginning and it looked like everyone was having a great time. I wish I had a video camera when one young lady was screaming breathlessly, “Theyhaveguitarhero anddancedancerevolution andIcan’tbelieveheWON!!!!!” She wasn’t screaming at me, of course, just near me. They were all so cute. It’s a pretty good setup – a dance, dodge ball, the aforementioned Dance Dance Revolution and Guitar Hero (played while projected onto the giant projector screens), board games, a ‘tattoo’ parlor (face painting), a photo booth, and pizza and snacks. I wish Lloyd had been my middle school teacher. You let me down, Miss Hansen. You let me down.

This is the only non-blurry shot I got. Lloyd and his minions are setting up for the dance. I sure hope that spotlight was there to enhance the musical fun, not to point out particularly bad dancers.

Note from Lloyd: here are some pictures from the Fun Night® photo booth, and if you want to have your own middle school fun night, here are the 20 pages of instructions.

Is it just me?  All summer, whenever I would put on my capris – which are all the same brand – the right front pocket would bunch up and stick out.   I never noticed it until Cousin Rachel pointed it out, so I think I spent the first part of the summer looking like an idiot.  But seriously, is it me? So I have poor pants-putting-on skills? Or could it be the brand of pants?

Beth came over to visit on Friday, and something she bemoaned was having to be between normal jeans and maternity jeans.  Her ‘in-between’ jeans are these gems, complete with elastic and the world’s longest zipper.  I think she deserves a round of applause for being so brave for the picture!  (Clap clap clap clap clap)