Besides, I owed him one. I needed someone to drive a car for Don Stenberg in the Seward 4th of July parade last year and John drove. Later Don Stenburg hired him. That’s just the way John is.

Anyway, everything was perfect. The wind was from the right direction, the humidity was right. John had everything setup. We started the “back burn”, which is not as painful as it sounds, at 5:30 and I think we started the actual burn (I thought someone might call it the front burn, but no one did in my hearing) around 7:00. John’s son in law, Trevor, is a member of the Eagle Volunteer Fire Department, and he showed up soon after we started to lend an official air to the proceedings.

For those of you not familiar with the process, we light a fire all the way around the side of the field that the wind is blowing toward with a propane tank connected to a curved tube. After that has burned a few feet in both directions, we put out the edge that is traveling with the wind. Once that is done around the edge that the wind is blowing toward, you light the other side and get out of the way.

Then, once the fire was going well on both ends and everything was just about all burned up, John did a rain dance or something and the lightning came, then the thunder and then the sleet. It was an awesome end to an awesome fire.

Here are two completely unedited videos so that Kate can enjoy the burn too (she was inside with the grandkids while we had all the fun).

UPDATE: It’s a good thing John didn’t put off the burn until today…

It can also be left out at room temperature without going bad, which means that it’s been sitting, unused, on my counter for a month or so. I’ll never get around to using it, and I didn’t want to just throw it out, so I decided to set it on fire.

Every good pyromaniac has a set of wicks lying around, so I snipped off some, dipped it in a little microwave-melted ghee, then poked a hole in the jar to put the wick in.

Turns out that was unnecessary. Ghee has the consistency of Crisco, so I pushed in my wick and found out it was too long. You know what’s not real smart? Cutting a wick with a paring knife while your fingers are all buttery. (I’m ok, but it was close.)

Ok – wick shortened, time to light! I picked a long match so I could take a photo. You know what else is not real smart? Taking a photo when your fingers are all buttery.

Hey, you know what else isn’t smart? Making a candle out of ghee and trying to light it with a match. It has a high smoke point. It resists catching on fire. I had to lay two matches down on the wick to get it going.

Once going, though, it was beautiful.

Until the wick fell over and it died.

I’m done, unless I want to go all pioneer and wrap some cloth around a metal button and use that for a wick. Oh, fire – I love you so.

My consolation prize for Lloyd’s day of fun was a little pocket stove on the clearance table at Eddie Bauer.  It had everything going for it – cute, small, gadget-y, and most importantly: it involved fire.  I was so excited to try it out! This thing could save our lives someday!

Now, I have to tell you that while I was taking the above photo, I was already planning my post and thinking how cool it would be to show you cooking with fire right in my kitchen.  It’s safe to use in a tent*, so I assumed the kitchen would be alright.  I was so excited to watch these mostly odorless*, smokeless* solid-fuel tablets bring a pint of water to a rolling boil in 8 minutes*, then watch it burn for the remaining 5 – 7 minutes*.    Doesn’t that sound like a fun way to spend an evening?

* All part of the instructions.

Here’s what really happened. I took the things out of the box, and right after I snapped the photo, Lloyd yelled, “What is that smell?  Is it cat poop**?”  We checked the cat’s butts because – really – they’re ancient and it’s entirely possible that they leaked.  No.  It was the box that stunk.  And the cubes.  And I had to listen to Lloyd grumble and act like he was dying because of a tiny little bit of toxic chemical vapor.  Sheesh!  I hurried up and shook a cube out of it’s packet so I could take the photo.  It broke.

** He didn’t really say ‘poop’.

It didn’t just break, it shattered and got stinky chemical dust all over the counter.

“Get it out!  Get it out!” Lloyd was hollering from his computer chair, holding his nose.

I answered, “I’m trying to take a photo.  Hold your horses!”  *snap* (Doesn’t he know the importance of the photos?)

So I took it outside and lit it.  It’s a very cool, tiny little stove.  You can set up the side ‘arms’ at a 45 or 90 degree angle, depending on the size of your pan.  I had it all set up at the 45, which was a mistake.  After I snapped a bunch of shots, I moved the pan handle for a better photo (it’s all about the photo), and collapsed a side.  You all should be very proud of me for resisting my first instinct to just reach over and fix it the burny hot metal.  So I held the pot for the remaining nine minutes.

My pint never reached a boil.

We split the lone egg, and Brad pronounced it delicious. I pronounced it ‘ehg’.

In other news, Lloyd has been doing some gardening of his own in Texas. He wrote, “Tell Brad to plant me up one of these in our yard.” I think having an agave would be great, since I could brew my own tequila from it. That would be a real timesaver.

Anyway, I’ve been easing my guilt by doing a little clean-up outside while he mows. Last week it was getting the dead leaves out of the planters, this week it was cutting out the zebra grass. I used grass shears – the completely wrong tool for such thick stems. Oh, well – it got done, and the best part is…… getting rid of them!

Let me make my standard warning: “This is very dangerous. Do not do this at home. But come over and watch me do it! I’m very brave.” We have a chiminea for when I have the need for real fire – not that weeny candle fire. It’s mostly used to burn up the sticks that fall off the trees after we’ve had a strong wind. Burning yard waste is only something to be done when we’ve had days and days of rain, because it makes a quick, hot, rushing fire that could take out the whole yard. I love it!